Christian Writing, Series

How to Honor God in Your Romantic Relationships

Romance. Love. True affection. Finding “the one.” These words and terms are thrown around a lot these days…but what is true love? How do we honor God in our romantic relationships? How do we patiently wait for God to bring the one He has for us to marry?

I want to dive into what it means to have an honorable and Godly romantic relationship in today’s post, as well as what true and Godly love is. Just a disclaimer: I have yet to be in any sort of romantic relationship, so this is simply me offering advice solely based off of God’s Word. Let’s go!

First off…what is true love? According to Google, love is: an intense feeling of deep affection.

According to God’s Word, this definition could not be farther from the truth. Love is more than a feeling. Let’s look at a couple scriptures that tell us what real love is.

John 15:12-13 // “This is my commandment, that you love one another, even as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a // Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (emphasis in both passages added by me)

Side note: this kind of love applies to all relationships, friends, family, and romance. However, we are going to focus on marriage and romantic relationships today. 

We are often told that love is a fluttery feeling in our chest, a fairy-tale we must chase after. In reality, love is neither of these things.

True love in romantic relationships is rather hard, because it’s a sacrifice. It says, “I’ll stand by you, till death do us part.” When arguments come, the couple doesn’t split up or file for a divorce – a true Godly couple stays together and continues to love one another even in the trials.

A love story worth fighting for is one of sacrifice and dedication. Anyone can stick around for the feelings and then leave when things get tough. It takes a follower of God to stick around and continue to love their spouse in all seasons of life.

To the singles:

When a potential special someone does come along, how exciting is that! What then? I believe we must take it to the Lord in prayer. We must ask Him to guide us and our emotions to know if we should consider this person as a future spouse. The only reason you should ever date or court someone is because you are both considering marrying each other. Dating/courting is NOT for just having a boyfriend or girlfriend for the Instagram photos, the social status, or the inner comfort. 

If God guides you both into a relationship, that’s wonderful! Throughout the relationship, continue to pray and seek the Lord, especially seeking Him together. A Godly romance is focused on Jesus, not feelings. Even if God shows you in the relationship that you aren’t meant for one another, then you can break things off and still be friends, without having a horrible breakup and broken hearts. This is because the relationship was built on God.

A Godly romance is focused on Jesus, not feelings.

Use this season of singleness to draw closer to God and serve Him with all that you have. This is an amazing season you cannot get back if you end up married! God doesn’t have marriage in store for everyone, but He has perfect plans in store for all His people. Trust Him, lean on Him, and ALWAYS draw closer to Him.

To those married/in a relationship:

Strive to have this kind of love in your relationship. No, it’s not easy, and no, you nor your partner will get it right. However, if you both seek the Lord first and make your relationship about Him and His glory, you can get there together.

No couple is perfect. However, we have Jesus and His life to look at as an example. He gave of Himself daily in sacrificial love and that is what we must do for one another. Build your life around God’s Word, and build your romantic relationship around that as well. Let Him guide your relationship, and strengthen your marriage, if you are married. It will blossom and grow in goodness as you focus on God.

Relationships are not about you or your partner getting what you want, but about honoring God. Keep Him the focus, and daily die to yourself and choose humility.

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If you’re in a relationship but aren’t married, strive to set boundaries in place as well, and get input from trusted adults in your life about the relationship. This is very helpful and helps steer the relationship in the right direction.

Proverbs 12:15 // The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who is wise listens to counsel.

Proverbs 19:20 // Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter end.

Proverbs 11:14 // Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is victory.

Sometimes from the outside looking in you can see the problems with a relationship. Many people who enter romantic relationships get so caught up in the other person’s good qualities that they fail to see the bad. Counsel is such a wise and helpful decision to make.

I could talk about this topic in its own series, but I want to end the post here. Whether you are in a relationship or not, I encourage you to live in the love that Jesus promotes – sacrifice. Daily die to yourself and choose to humbly serve those around you. This is the truest love.

If you do one day enter into a relationship, or if you are already there, remember that a relationship takes effort on both your part and their part. Strive to be a good husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend, who shows the love of God freely to the other. This is a Godly relationship – one where you both seek and serve God, together. //

This was the last post in the Godly relationships series! I hope and pray you enjoyed it and were encouraged and challenged!

{ In this post, I didn’t talk about gender in romantic relationships because that would have been too long of a post. However, I have done a post on that that is part of a series on gender according to God’s Word. You can read that post here. }

Other posts in this series:

How to Have God-Honoring Relationships with Your Family

How to Have God-Honoring Friendships

More posts on love and romance:

Guard Your Heart

{ To the Single People… }

Waiting For Love

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8 thoughts on “How to Honor God in Your Romantic Relationships”

  1. Great post, Caitlyn about how to honor God in our romantic relationships. I like when you said, “… a true Godly couple stays together and continues to love one another even in the trials.” and the reason I like this is that it puts emphasis on how Christians; who are in a romantic relationship should learn to work together WITH their romantic counterpart in order to get through the circumstance that they are in.

    I also like when you said, “A love story worth fighting for is one of sacrifice and dedication… It takes a follower of God to stick around and continue to love their spouse in all seasons of life.” because it’s a testament to the resolve of the couple to stay together despite the challenges in life.

    One of the quotes that I liked in your post was when you said:

    “If God guides you both into a relationship, that’s wonderful! Throughout the relationship, continue to pray and seek the Lord, especially seeking Him together. A Godly romance is focused on Jesus, not feelings.”

    – “Even if God shows you in the relationship that you aren’t meant for one another, then you can break things off and still be friends, without having a horrible breakup and broken hearts. This is because the relationship was built on God.”

    As someone who is single, it’s great to read this: “Use this season of singleness to draw closer to God and serve Him with all that you have… God doesn’t have marriage in store for everyone, but He has perfect plans in store for all His people. Trust Him, lean on Him, and ALWAYS draw closer to Him.”

    The reason I like this is that it is true. God doesn’t have marriage in store for everyone and sometimes, we have to accept that in order to move forward in our walk with Him. Even if we aren’t married to someone, that doesn’t mean that God can’t use your season of singleness to help guide you into something that you wouldn’t otherwise have if you were married.

    I like some of the quotes in your blog post including:

    1). “… if you both seek the Lord first and make your relationship about Him and His glory, you can get there together.”

    2). “No couple is perfect. However, we have Jesus and His life to look at as an example. He gave of Himself daily in sacrificial love and that is what we must do for one another. ”

    – “Build your life around God’s Word, and build your romantic relationship around that as well. Let Him guide your relationship, and strengthen your marriage, if you are married. It will blossom and grow in goodness as you focus on God.”

    3). “Relationships are not about you or your partner getting what you want, but about honoring God. Keep Him the focus, and daily die to yourself and choose humility.”

    I like when you said, Caitlyn, “I encourage you to live in the love that Jesus promotes – sacrifice. Daily die to yourself and choose to humbly serve those around you. This is the truest love.” When we die to ourselves, we are letting God take the lead in anything that we do and that includes the relationships that we have with people.

    Thanks so much for your post, Caitlyn. I was wondering if I could reference this post in this upcoming blog post about “Being Joined with Christ.”?

    Liked by 1 person

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