3 Tips for Finding Contentment in Christ Alone (Purity Series pt. 5)

For the other posts in this series, click here.

Contentment in God alone can be tough to focus on in your daily life, ya feel me? We have so many distractions, and guys can easily be one of them. It’s easy for us girls to be so focused on guys or things of this world, that we place our hope and contentment in things other than the Lord.

The truth is, only God can satisfy our hearts. When we place our hope in other things, we’ll always be dissatisfied.

Have you ever found yourself jealous of other girls who have boyfriends or are getting married?

Have you ever found yourself placing your hope and joy in the ONE DAY when you’ll meet “the one?”

These thoughts are completely normal for us girls to face, so please don’t think you have a problem if you’ve thought these things. The problem is when we let these thoughts consume our minds, and we place our contentment in whether/not we have a guy, or even in other things like friends and social events, etc.

The question is, HOW do we find our contentment in Christ alone, when we so easily place it in other places? I want to share a few ways with you girls today.

Read More »
Advertisements

Why It’s Important to Pray for Your Future Husband (Purity Series pt. 4)

For the other posts in this series, click here.

Praying for your future husband is something that is so exciting and wonderful for us as single women to do. We get to pray for the one that we’ll one day be married to, and already honor him, although we haven’t entered into a relationship with him yet.

Why is it important to pray for your future husband, you might wonder? Well, there’s a few reasons why, and I want to share them with you today. 🙂

Read More »

5 Tips for Having God-Honoring Friendships with Guys (Purity Series pt. 3)

For the first 2 posts in this series, click here.

Guy friendships can be complicated – it can be tough to know how far into the friendship we can go before travelling down a road that could lead us to having unwanted feelings for each other/being in sinful or tempting situations.

I believe guy friendships are wonderful & important. However, I also believe there’s a balance that we, as Christian girls and young women, need to strive for. We shouldn’t refrain from guy friendships altogether because they’re too complicated, and we shouldn’t have super tight-knit guy friendships who we share everything with, because that can lead to intimacy that neither of us intended for.

What is this balance? Well, it’s different for everyone, and please don’t think I’m trying to force you to legalistically follow these boundaries. In this post, I want to dig into a few ways to have God-honoring friendships with guys. Let’s go!

Hang out With Guys in Groups

It can be easier for feelings to develop for a young fella when we hang out with them one-on-one. Personally, I believe that it’s super important that we focus on hanging out with guys in group settings, where there is a good mix of guys and girls. This will help keep unwanted feelings and tempting/sinful situations from arising.

Evaluate the situations you’re in with guys – are you together alone? Are you both in places where you would be tempted to sin? Strive to promote purity for yourself and for the guys you know. Hanging out with guys in groups  helps to keep temptation as well as thoughts/feelings deeper than friendship at bay. No, it won’t necessarily rid us of all temptation and feelings, but it’s an important way to promote your own purity and the purity of your guy friends.

Colossians 3:5-6 // Put to death therefore your members which are on the earth: sexual immorality, uncleanness, depraved passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry; 6for which things’ sake the wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience. 

Don’t Flirt

When you’re with guys it can be tempting to be flirtatious to get their attention. However, we are called to honor God in all we do, and flirting puts the attention on us rather than God. Read & think about the following scripture:

Whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father, through him. – Colossians 3:17 (emphasis mine)

Take a moment to ponder about & evaluate how you are acting around guys – is it the same that you act around your girl friends/family? It might be different in some ways, and that’s ok. But are you always trying to get guys’ attention by being flirtatious, even in subtle ways? I know it’s easy to want attention from guys, as well as to unknowingly flirt. That is why, in every conversation, we must be careful that we are drawing attention to God, not to ourselves.

Philippians 2:3-4 gives us some encouraging truth: “doing nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself; each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others.” (emphasis mine) We are called to do nothing out of vanity, but to look at others interests before our own. I encourage you to strive to point the guys around you to Christ, not to yourself. Be intentional in all your interactions to honor God.

Don’t Treat Guy Friends Like Your Girl Friends

The dynamics of guy-girl friendships are different from girl-girl friendships. We can tell our close girlfriends everything, and text them everyday without it being weird. However, with guy friends, we must be careful – doing these kinds of things can easily make it seem like we have feelings for a guy, and can create a deeper & unwanted attraction/connection.

When we hang out or communicate with a certain guy often, it communicates that we like them. Evaluate how much you communicate with guy friends. Texting and chatting is totally ok, but be careful. Are you always texting him first? Do you text each other every day? In group settings, do you two always talk together by yourselves? Spur him on to godliness, even if it means communicating less.

Hebrews 10:24 // Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, 

Surrender All Guys & See Them as Brothers

Sometimes when you’re friends with a guy, feelings develop. You think this guy is super awesome, but don’t know what to do because he seems to only see you as a friend, or hasn’t made “a move.”

I encourage you to surrender all the guys you know to the Lord in prayer, even if you don’t have feelings for them. Give them wholly to the Lord, and ask Him to help you see them as brothers. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 says: Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father; the younger men as brothers; the elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, in all purity.

When you surrender guys to God in prayer, it helps you have the right mindset – you’ll remember that you’re both in God’s hands, and that if any guy is meant to be more than a friend, that will happen according to God’s perfect plan.

Encourage Them

In a world where guys are put down when they behave like true men, all guys need encouragement. When a guy holds the door open for you or offers to carry something for you, genuinely thank him. Encourage the guys around you to be men, inspiring them with the word of God & words of life.

Proverbs 27:17 says: Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance. Strive to sharpen your guy friends, and encourage them in godliness. This is so important and needed!

I hope & pray that this post has been an encouragement to you in navigating guy friendships. Strive to honor God first & foremost in all you do, and uplift the people around you! We are called to be salt & light. 😉

Let’s chat!

What’re some things you’ve struggled with concerning guy friendships?

Which of these tips was most encouraging to you, and why?

How will you promote godliness to the guys around you?

For my blog post on tips for when you have a crush, click here.

4 Tips for Living in Purity (Purity Series pt. 2)

Purity can often make people feel uncomfortable or confused. What does it mean? How do we live it out? In this post I want to dive into some practical ways to live out purity in your own life.

Before I dive into this post, I want to remind you of something: purity isn’t a checklist. It’s not something that we can live out perfectly because we aren’t perfect. God’s Word describes purity in Psalm 119:9:

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. (emphasis mine)

Purity starts in our mind, as I talked about a couple weeks ago in the first part of this blog series. However, it doesn’t stop there. We must live out what we know to be true.

I don’t know your past, but God does. If you have messed up and sinned in any way, including in purity, there is forgiveness for you. Romans 3:23 tells us that we have all sinned & fall short of God’s glory. Then Romans 6:23 says that the wages of our sin is death – yet, God has given us a free gift through Christ Jesus – eternal life. Come to the Lord and confess of your sin, and ask Him for a new heart. Ask Him to come into your life and to save you from your sin. Believe that Jesus died for you and that He wants you to have eternal life. You can live a lifestyle of purity.

With all that said, let’s dive into four tips for living in purity!

1. Know God’s Word

Knowing the Truth of God’s Word sets us free! (John 8:32) Getting into the Word daily is so important, and it helps us live in purity. When we face situations where we are tempted to compromise, we will know God’s Word and be better able to make God-honoring choices. Daily set aside time to spend with the Lord, and memorize verses and passages of Scripture. This is the most important part of living in purity – it all begins with knowing God & His Word and growing in our relationship with Him!

Psalm 119:11 // I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

2. Establish Boundaries

Boundaries are very important to living in purity. Think about it: if we don’t establish certain boundaries and limits, we will go and do however our heart desires. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us about the sin that is in all of our hearts: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt: who can know it?”

While there may not be any specific Bible verses/passages that say we must establish boundaries, they are very important. Romans 13:14 says: But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, for its lusts. (emphasis mine)

We should be careful how we interact with members of the opposite sex. If we aren’t careful & don’t have boundaries, we can get into sinful situations. God calls us to be holy, as He is holy, and boundaries help us to practically do that.

A few boundaries that some embrace are to hang out with guys in groups, not be alone with them at night/in a car, and not to put yourself in situations where there would be provision to fulfill the lusts of the flesh. These are a few ideas to consider; most importantly, I encourage you to think about situations where you or others would be tempted to compromise your purity, and make a point to stay away from those kind of situations by establishing boundaries.

3. Remember God’s Good Design for Sex & Intimacy

As we read the Bible, we see that God created intimacy & sex to be something that is saved for marriage. When people take it and use it outside of marriage, trouble always seems to happen.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says: Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin that a man does is outside the body,” but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

Sex and intimacy is a beautiful and wonderful thing, but it is meant for marriage, to be an act between husband and wife. When you remember this, and that God calls us to holiness, it will help you remember the beauty of saving sex for marriage.

If you have compromised your purity, remember that God forgives and is always merciful. Whether or not you have compromised in the area of purity and sex, you can start walking on the path of purity today. Learning about God’s good design is super helpful in walking in this path.

There is so much more to learn on this topic, more than I can share today. If you are interested in learning more about God’s design for intimacy and sex and relationships, I highly recommend checking out Girl Defined ministries, and specifically, their book, Love Defined!

4. Repent & Turn from Sin

Daily we must allow God to search our hearts and know them, pointing out any and all sin. We can daily pray Psalm 51:10: “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me.”

Purity isn’t merely setting up guards, trying on our own strength to be holy & refrain from sex. It’s daily letting God cleanse us from sin, crying out to Him, “make me holy, as You are holy.” True holiness comes from denying ourselves and our sin, asking God to cleanse us and give us strength to live righteously. Daily ask the Lord to search your heart and show you your sin, and then repent of it. Ask Him for strength to live victoriously over sin.

Purity isn’t a checklist. These tips aren’t meant to be something that you must legalistically cling to, and following them won’t necessarily keep you out of sin or tempting situations. However, as we daily strive to seek God first, establish boundaries, remember God’s perfect design for intimacy and sex, and repent and turn from sin, we will grow in God and in holiness! I’m going to leave you with this encouraging passage to inspire you to seek the Lord first, turning from sin to a path of holiness. We’re in this together, sister. ❤

Hebrews 12:1-2 // Therefore let us also, seeing we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising its shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Let’s chat!

When have you been tempted to compromise your purity?

Which of the 4 tips was most encouraging for you?

How will you start living in purity, today?