5 Tips for Having God-Honoring Friendships with Guys (Purity Series pt. 3)

For the first 2 posts in this series, click here.

Guy friendships can be complicated – it can be tough to know how far into the friendship we can go before travelling down a road that could lead us to having unwanted feelings for each other/being in sinful or tempting situations.

I believe guy friendships are wonderful & important. However, I also believe there’s a balance that we, as Christian girls and young women, need to strive for. We shouldn’t refrain from guy friendships altogether because they’re too complicated, and we shouldn’t have super tight-knit guy friendships who we share everything with, because that can lead to intimacy that neither of us intended for.

What is this balance? Well, it’s different for everyone, and please don’t think I’m trying to force you to legalistically follow these boundaries. In this post, I want to dig into a few ways to have God-honoring friendships with guys. Let’s go!

Hang out With Guys in Groups

It can be easier for feelings to develop for a young fella when we hang out with them one-on-one. Personally, I believe that it’s super important that we focus on hanging out with guys in group settings, where there is a good mix of guys and girls. This will help keep unwanted feelings and tempting/sinful situations from arising.

Evaluate the situations you’re in with guys – are you together alone? Are you both in places where you would be tempted to sin? Strive to promote purity for yourself and for the guys you know. Hanging out with guys in groups  helps to keep temptation as well as thoughts/feelings deeper than friendship at bay. No, it won’t necessarily rid us of all temptation and feelings, but it’s an important way to promote your own purity and the purity of your guy friends.

Colossians 3:5-6 // Put to death therefore your members which are on the earth: sexual immorality, uncleanness, depraved passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry; 6for which things’ sake the wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience. 

Don’t Flirt

When you’re with guys it can be tempting to be flirtatious to get their attention. However, we are called to honor God in all we do, and flirting puts the attention on us rather than God. Read & think about the following scripture:

Whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father, through him. – Colossians 3:17 (emphasis mine)

Take a moment to ponder about & evaluate how you are acting around guys – is it the same that you act around your girl friends/family? It might be different in some ways, and that’s ok. But are you always trying to get guys’ attention by being flirtatious, even in subtle ways? I know it’s easy to want attention from guys, as well as to unknowingly flirt. That is why, in every conversation, we must be careful that we are drawing attention to God, not to ourselves.

Philippians 2:3-4 gives us some encouraging truth: “doing nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself; each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others.” (emphasis mine) We are called to do nothing out of vanity, but to look at others interests before our own. I encourage you to strive to point the guys around you to Christ, not to yourself. Be intentional in all your interactions to honor God.

Don’t Treat Guy Friends Like Your Girl Friends

The dynamics of guy-girl friendships are different from girl-girl friendships. We can tell our close girlfriends everything, and text them everyday without it being weird. However, with guy friends, we must be careful – doing these kinds of things can easily make it seem like we have feelings for a guy, and can create a deeper & unwanted attraction/connection.

When we hang out or communicate with a certain guy often, it communicates that we like them. Evaluate how much you communicate with guy friends. Texting and chatting is totally ok, but be careful. Are you always texting him first? Do you text each other every day? In group settings, do you two always talk together by yourselves? Spur him on to godliness, even if it means communicating less.

Hebrews 10:24 // Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, 

Surrender All Guys & See Them as Brothers

Sometimes when you’re friends with a guy, feelings develop. You think this guy is super awesome, but don’t know what to do because he seems to only see you as a friend, or hasn’t made “a move.”

I encourage you to surrender all the guys you know to the Lord in prayer, even if you don’t have feelings for them. Give them wholly to the Lord, and ask Him to help you see them as brothers. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 says: Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father; the younger men as brothers; the elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, in all purity.

When you surrender guys to God in prayer, it helps you have the right mindset – you’ll remember that you’re both in God’s hands, and that if any guy is meant to be more than a friend, that will happen according to God’s perfect plan.

Encourage Them

In a world where guys are put down when they behave like true men, all guys need encouragement. When a guy holds the door open for you or offers to carry something for you, genuinely thank him. Encourage the guys around you to be men, inspiring them with the word of God & words of life.

Proverbs 27:17 says: Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance. Strive to sharpen your guy friends, and encourage them in godliness. This is so important and needed!

I hope & pray that this post has been an encouragement to you in navigating guy friendships. Strive to honor God first & foremost in all you do, and uplift the people around you! We are called to be salt & light. 😉

Let’s chat!

What’re some things you’ve struggled with concerning guy friendships?

Which of these tips was most encouraging to you, and why?

How will you promote godliness to the guys around you?

For my blog post on tips for when you have a crush, click here.

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7 Books I Enjoyed in 2018

As 2018 began, I set a goal to read 5-7 good Christian books. I ended up reading 10 books (fiction and non-fiction), which surprised me! I was so blessed to be part of a few book teams and pre-read books for people, which allowed me to find new amazing books & read them for free. In 2018 I read some good books & wanted to share my favorites with you today! Let’s go…

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How to Set Goals & Accomplish Them This New Year

Resolutions. This time of year we always seem to be making them, and if we aren’t, we’re likely hearing about people making them.

Typically, a few months after new years, resolutions fall through. Goals such as “lose weight” “be happier” or “eat healthier” are soon forgotten & neglected when the new year’s hype is over.

The last few years, I have set goals for the new year. I was inspired by this amazing post by Girl Defined ministries. I keep the list in my Bible & try to look at it somewhat often, and set goals each month as well. To be honest, I don’t think I did as well this year as I could have, but I still reached goals and improved!

Throughout the year, there have been ups and downs, but I feel like I have, by God’s strength alone, been able to improve & make progress. I still have a ways to go, but I know that God has helped me reach some goals this year. One goal I had in mind was to be more self-controlled concerning my phone, and, although I’m not perfect at it, I have gotten better at it as I’ve been intentional to.

Setting goals or “resolutions” merely to do so isn’t going to get you anywhere. You will likely forget about them and not put them into practice. Goals + laziness = laziness. Goals + diligence + God’s strength = progress. That’s the key – being diligent & devoted, relying on God daily for strength! Sure, you might not be perfect at first, but it’s all about making progress! 😉

Check out these passages:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 // But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (emphasis added)

Proverbs 10:4 // He becomes poor who works with a lazy hand, but the hand of the diligent brings wealth. (emphasis added)

Romans 12:11 // not lagging in diligence; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;

I encourage you, as this year comes to a close & we look forward to a brand new year, think of some goals you hope to achieve in 2019, as well as things you need to work on personally. Then, think of ways you can reach those goals.

Consider your faults and where you continually fall short & fail.

Maybe you struggle with food addiction/overeating.

Maybe you struggle with laziness.

Maybe you struggle with phone addiction.

Maybe you struggle with a bad attitude.

We all have struggles. It’s what we do with them that matters. You have a choice: You can work daily, by God’s power alone & for His glory, to progress & become better, or setting goals & working towards them; or, you can be lazy and never get anywhere.

I encourage you to ask God to show you areas where you need to improve. If you like to have words of the year, ask Him to show you a specific word to focus on this year, and even find a verse that you want to have to focus on this year.

Take some time to think about the person you want to work towards becoming, the qualities & areas you need to improve on, and ways you want to grow this year. Write down a physical list, make it fancy & cute if you’d like! You can stick it in your Bible, hang it on your wall, or even make multiple copies to put around your house!

Goals are important, no matter what time of year it is; but the only way you’ll reach goals is by God’s power. Daily seek Him, making a point to be in His Word & in prayer daily, as much as is possible. That’s a goal we all should have as Christians! Intentionally seek Him, and you’ll find the power to become a more Godly person daily. The only way you can set goals this year & reach them is by God’s power, continually looking to Him, and choosing to be diligent & disciplined. I know you can do it, by His strength & for His glory!

I’d love to hear from you! What’re any goals you have for 2019? How will you reach them?

Why I’ve Never Been on a Date

Hi, I’m Caitlyn, I’m in my upper teen years, and I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never even been asked on one!

Many people will think you’re crazy if you’ve never been on a date by your late teen years, & young adult years. For the world, it’s normal for teens/young adults to have multiple significant others throughout the years. But, is it healthy? Does dating around honor God?

I have never been on a date, and there are multiple reasons for that:

I have never been on a date for a few reasons:

  • I am not yet ready for marriage
  • I haven’t been asked on a date
  • I haven’t met any guys who I feel God would call me to spend the rest of my life with starting now
  • My parents taught me not to date around like the world does

I’m a firm believer in purposeful dating. I don’t believe that we should merely “date around” for the purpose of dating someone. When we enter a dating relationship, it should be with the purpose of marriage in mind. We should be dating someone asking the question, “Would I marry this person?” A good & God-honoring dating relationship doesn’t start just because you think someone is attractive and good-looking. It starts when you both realize that God wants you to enter a relationship with each other, and your motives are to honor Him, not gratify your selfish desires.

Before I go on, I want to let you know that wherever you are, whatever you’ve done, God forgives and you can start walking with Him. If you’ve messed up in any way, even in terms of love & romance, you can start over, friend. Come to Him & He will make you new & help you to see dating & romance in a brand-new, Biblical, wonderful way. You can move on. He can forgive you. You can walk in His Truth & it is a beautiful thing! You’re never too far gone.

Dating is a controversial topic, and all relationships look different. Because of what I’ve learned from God’s Word and good books on love & romance, I only want to date when I am ready for marriage, the other person is ready for marriage, our parents have “okayed” the relationship, and we both feel that God is calling us to date one another.

Read these awesome passages:

Colossians 3:17 // Whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father, through him.

Proverbs 11:14 // Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is victory.

When entering into a dating relationship, I want to make sure my parents have met the guy & are ok with the relationship. I hope to know the guy fairly well & trust that he is serving God wholeheartedly and we have similar worldviews according to God’s Word. Above all, I want the relationship to be wholly built on God & honoring to Him.

A dating relationship should be entered into with the purpose of honoring God. When you enter into a relationship with selfish motives, things will go downhill. When a guy & girl hope to have their needs met & their reputations made better by a relationship with each other, they have the wrong motives. I hope to one day, if/when the Lord brings the right man into my life, be able to enter a relationship to serve each other & find out if we should marry one another. 

I encourage you, if you are single like me, keep praying & trusting in God. Spend this season learning to be fully content in God ALONE. Some of us may be called to singleness not just for a season, but for our whole lives, or for an extended time. Ask yourself, would I be content if I was single my whole life? 

Seeking and serving God is the point of this life, not having a spouse. Although marriage is a wonderful & beautiful gift God has given us, it’s not what we live for. God is the One who fulfills our hearts’ desires and needs, and only He satisfies. No guy can ever fill the hole in your heart that God was made to fill.

I’ve never been on a date. Why? Because God hasn’t called me to date yet, and I’m not ready for it yet. I am waiting for the right time & the right person, & I know God will provide. Love is a wonderful, beautiful, and AMAZING thing that I look forward to! But I’m striving to focus on being content in God alone, and I pray you will too, in every season of life. ❤

Cultivating a Heart of Thankfulness

Giving thanks is something most of us (in the U.S. anyways 😉 ) are thinking of this time of year. I honestly LOVE Thanksgiving. Watching the Macy’s day parade, being with my family, and eating too much delicious food makes me happy. 🙂 .

As much as we love the day of Thanksgiving, “thanksgiving” is more than a holiday. It’s a lifestyle. I know you’ve probably heard this before, especially around this time of year, but it’s SO TRUE. Today I want to share about how we can learn to be more thankful in our daily life and cultivate a grateful heart. 

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Interview With America’s Got Talent Contestant & Christian Singer-Songwriter Joseph O’Brien

A couple months ago, my family and I were watching America’s Got Talent. This guy  named Joseph O’Brien came on and started singing an original song. In his song, he mentioned praying and my brother made a sarcastic comment that maybe he was “Christian,” and I laughed and was like, “maybe?”

I proceeded to look Joseph up on Instagram and noticed he had a verse in his bio. I thought that was pretty cool, but we all know that anyone can call themselves “Christian” or put a verse in their social media bio, but not be truly living for God.

However, as I followed Joseph on Instagram and watched him while he was on AGT, I noticed that he truly does live like a Christian. His faith in God influences the way he lives and all he does, and that really encouraged me. It’s nice to see someone on a show like that with genuine faith in God! I absolutely love his music and his voice, but his faith is what inspires me above all. He is an amazingly talented guy!

I reached out to Joseph via email a couple weeks ago asking if he would answer some questions to share with you all. I was SO SOOO excited when he replied with a YES!!

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Advice for Living a Worshipful and Thankful Life

It’s hard to believe that fall is here!! The summer days just seemed to fly by.  A few of weeks ago, I was putting out decorations, getting ready for the Autumn season, when I began to think again about the subject of thankfulness and the whole overall aspect of the season.  I have been blessed to grow up in a Godly home with loving parents who have taught me from the very beginning of my life to be grateful for opportunities to bless people. So I am thankful for this opportunity to write on this blog. Because more than anything, I am hoping to encourage you all as well as myself to follow hard after Jesus.

Every once in a while, my mind will think of a phrase poised as a question; “Am I Falling for Jesus?” You know how leaves fall off the trees in autumn?” To me, they have a beautiful red, yellow, orange, and gold glow as they float to the ground. “Am I Falling for Jesus?”

We like to think that we are following the Lord as much as possible.  We set aside time to spend in God’s Word, we go to church, and maybe even go to Bible studies. But are we just going through the motions? We can do all those things to show we are faithful to God, but are we falling for Him? We should be striving to worship God all day, every single day.  Falling at his feet in honor to him; in every thought we should be praising Him.

We should be striving to worship God all day, every single day..png

John 4:23-24 // But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship Him. God is a spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. (KJV)

Psalm 35:28 // And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long. (KJV)

When I was nine years old I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart, but it was more out of fear of Hell than anything.  I went through a rough start in my early teenage years.  I felt helpless and miserable all the time.  At age thirteen, I had a realization that there was no fruitful change in me. I knew the only right thing to do was to admit to the Lord that I believed in Him and confess my sins.  In a way, it was an awakening for me. Falling at the feet of Jesus, admitting that I was a helpless and suffering person who needed saving. I had to put away the old self, and let God take over and control my life. I was not worthy to be forgiven of my sin. I don’t deserve to live a life knowing that my Savior is keeping me safe in His arms. But it is God’s gift to me. “O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the Lord our maker.” (Psalm 96:9 KJV)

We shouldn’t only be thankful for the life that God has seen fit to give us, but we should also be falling at the feet of Jesus thanking Him for giving us another day to live another day to glorify Him.

Some days we feel like we can’t go on. Life is too hard. In those times, we need to remember to let God into our lives. In tough or hard circumstances, praise Him, because God is in control.

Sometimes we can become self focused, and all that matters is what we want. We miss out on things that are important to us, and that just isn’t fair in our opinion. We deserved to go to that party, or, we deserved to be able to hang out with our friends! When we become self drawn, we often get disappointed and say to ourselves, “I was looking forward to this, and now it’s not going to happen.” We can hold that event in high respect…but here’s the dangerous part: we can hold it in higher respect than God. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.

In all our choices, we should honor God first before ourselves. Fall at His feet and tell God that you want to honor His choices for you instead…He will only do what is best for us.

In tough or hard circumstances, praise Him, because God is in control..png

We can learn to worship God all the time; worshipping Him in song is a great example. In 1873 Fanny J. Crosby wrote a song called “Blessed Assurance” which in the chorus says:

“This is my story, this is my song

Praising my Savior all the day long

This is my story, this is my song

Praising my Savior all the day long”


This is the perfect testimony of how we should worship and praise God in everything.

Here are some questions for us to think about:

Are we falling for Jesus?

Are we living our lives to the fullest for His glory?

What is something that you are thankful for?

Thanks so much to Abby B. for writing this post!


About the author:

received_1326439790832436.jpeg

My name is Abigail. I am eighteen years old and live with my parents. I have an older sister and brother, and sister in law. I am a full time babysitter. I love writing, enjoy baking and spending time with my family. I have had the Lord in my heart since 2013 and my constant desire is to know Him better and be changed into His image.

Why I’m Not Celebrating Halloween

Many think that Halloween is an innocent holiday, and that it doesn’t matter if you’re a Christian and celebrate it. However, Halloween isn’t all that it seems. In this post I want to explain why my family has never celebrated it, and why it is wrong to celebrate Halloween according to God’s Word. I pray that you will keep an open mind as you read this post, and study God’s Word for yourself to get His take on this! 🙂

What you might not know is just how Halloween started. It’s origins come from about 2,000 years ago when the Celtics celebrated a pagan festival that has now become what we call “Halloween.” They called this day “Samhain.” During this festival, they believed that the dead came alive and that the living could visit with the dead. (For more info, see this article)

Furthermore, Halloween is the first day in a three day celebration called Allhallowtide, a time to remember the dead, including saints, martyrs, and the “faithfully departed.”

God’s Word actually tells us to not do as pagans do. Sure, this holiday has changed since then, but it still has pagan origins.

Deuteronomy 12:29-32 // When Yahweh your God cuts off the nations from before you, where you go in to dispossess them, and you dispossess them, and dwell in their land; be careful that you are not ensnared to follow them, after that they are destroyed from before you; and that you not inquire after their gods, saying, “How do these nations serve their gods? I will do likewise.” You shall not do so to Yahweh your God; for every abomination to Yahweh, which he hates, have they done to their gods; for they even burn their sons and their daughters in the fire to their gods. Whatever thing I command you, that you shall observe to do. You shall not add to it, nor take away from it.

This holiday also celebrates darkness and things that are not of God. God calls His children to be children of the light, so why should we take part in a holiday that celebrates darkness? Darkness and light CANNOT coexist. Even if you celebrate the “happy” or seemingly “good” parts of Halloween, you are still taking part in a day of darkness.

Darkness.png

 

Ephesians 5:11-14 says: Have no fellowship with the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather even reprove them. For the things which are done by them in secret, it is a shame even to speak of. But all things, when they are reproved, are revealed by the light, for everything that reveals is light. Therefore he says, “Awake, you who sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

1 John 1:5-7 has a similar theme to the passage from Ephesians. It says: This is the message which we have heard from him and announce to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him and walk in the darkness, we lie, and don’t tell the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

We are called to walk in the light as God is in the light, not walking in darkness. We aren’t even supposed to have any fellowship with the deeds of darkness, for it is shameful to even speak of those things. We lie if we say we have fellowship with God and then walk in the darkness.

We lie if we say we have fellowship with God and then walk in the darkness..png

Halloween is not something that is right when we look at God’s Word. He tells us to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16) He tells us to walk in the light as He is in the light (1 John 1:5-7). He calls us to honor Him in all we do (1 Samuel 2:30, 1 Corinthians 10:31). He calls us to be different than this world (Romans 12:1-2). We can’t do this and celebrate Halloween at the same time.

Even if we say we aren’t celebrating like others do and have the right heart or mindset, we are still taking part in a dark holiday. Our hearts are sinful, so we shouldn’t listen to them. We should listen to God’s Word. He calls us to be holy and set-apart, and I believe that because of what He says in His Word, we, as Christians, should take no part in Halloween.

Resources I used for this post:

https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/origin-of-halloween/ (I’m not a Jehovah’s Witness, but this article has lots of great info!)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samhain

Other posts on Halloween

Why I Don’t Celebrate Halloween (Why I Don’t Series Pt. 2)

// Should We Celebrate Halloween as Christians? //

4 Encouraging Reminders for All Students

Back to school season is upon us! School can be so stressful. I had my first, and thankfully only, anxiety attack several months into my freshman year of high school, because it was harder than I had expected. I felt like I wouldn’t be able to keep up. So, I get it, school can be rough.

This post is for ALL students – public-schooled, homeschooled, private-schooled, or college students! Whatever kind of student you are, I think these tips will be encouraging for you. 🙂

Without further ado, here are a few tips and some encouragement for all you students out there.

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How to Honor God in Your Romantic Relationships

Romance. Love. True affection. Finding “the one.” These words and terms are thrown around a lot these days…but what is true love? How do we honor God in our romantic relationships? How do we patiently wait for God to bring the one He has for us to marry?

I want to dive into what it means to have an honorable and Godly romantic relationship in today’s post, as well as what true and Godly love is. Just a disclaimer: I have yet to be in any sort of romantic relationship, so this is simply me offering advice solely based off of God’s Word. Let’s go!

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