Why It’s Important to Pray for Your Future Husband (Purity Series pt. 4)

For the other posts in this series, click here.

Praying for your future husband is something that is so exciting and wonderful for us as single women to do. We get to pray for the one that we’ll one day be married to, and already honor him, although we haven’t entered into a relationship with him yet.

Why is it important to pray for your future husband, you might wonder? Well, there’s a few reasons why, and I want to share them with you today. 🙂

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4 Tips for Living in Purity (Purity Series pt. 2)

Purity can often make people feel uncomfortable or confused. What does it mean? How do we live it out? In this post I want to dive into some practical ways to live out purity in your own life.

Before I dive into this post, I want to remind you of something: purity isn’t a checklist. It’s not something that we can live out perfectly because we aren’t perfect. God’s Word describes purity in Psalm 119:9:

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. (emphasis mine)

Purity starts in our mind, as I talked about a couple weeks ago in the first part of this blog series. However, it doesn’t stop there. We must live out what we know to be true.

I don’t know your past, but God does. If you have messed up and sinned in any way, including in purity, there is forgiveness for you. Romans 3:23 tells us that we have all sinned & fall short of God’s glory. Then Romans 6:23 says that the wages of our sin is death – yet, God has given us a free gift through Christ Jesus – eternal life. Come to the Lord and confess of your sin, and ask Him for a new heart. Ask Him to come into your life and to save you from your sin. Believe that Jesus died for you and that He wants you to have eternal life. You can live a lifestyle of purity.

With all that said, let’s dive into four tips for living in purity!

1. Know God’s Word

Knowing the Truth of God’s Word sets us free! (John 8:32) Getting into the Word daily is so important, and it helps us live in purity. When we face situations where we are tempted to compromise, we will know God’s Word and be better able to make God-honoring choices. Daily set aside time to spend with the Lord, and memorize verses and passages of Scripture. This is the most important part of living in purity – it all begins with knowing God & His Word and growing in our relationship with Him!

Psalm 119:11 // I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

2. Establish Boundaries

Boundaries are very important to living in purity. Think about it: if we don’t establish certain boundaries and limits, we will go and do however our heart desires. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us about the sin that is in all of our hearts: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt: who can know it?”

While there may not be any specific Bible verses/passages that say we must establish boundaries, they are very important. Romans 13:14 says: But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, for its lusts. (emphasis mine)

We should be careful how we interact with members of the opposite sex. If we aren’t careful & don’t have boundaries, we can get into sinful situations. God calls us to be holy, as He is holy, and boundaries help us to practically do that.

A few boundaries that some embrace are to hang out with guys in groups, not be alone with them at night/in a car, and not to put yourself in situations where there would be provision to fulfill the lusts of the flesh. These are a few ideas to consider; most importantly, I encourage you to think about situations where you or others would be tempted to compromise your purity, and make a point to stay away from those kind of situations by establishing boundaries.

3. Remember God’s Good Design for Sex & Intimacy

As we read the Bible, we see that God created intimacy & sex to be something that is saved for marriage. When people take it and use it outside of marriage, trouble always seems to happen.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says: Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin that a man does is outside the body,” but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

Sex and intimacy is a beautiful and wonderful thing, but it is meant for marriage, to be an act between husband and wife. When you remember this, and that God calls us to holiness, it will help you remember the beauty of saving sex for marriage.

If you have compromised your purity, remember that God forgives and is always merciful. Whether or not you have compromised in the area of purity and sex, you can start walking on the path of purity today. Learning about God’s good design is super helpful in walking in this path.

There is so much more to learn on this topic, more than I can share today. If you are interested in learning more about God’s design for intimacy and sex and relationships, I highly recommend checking out Girl Defined ministries, and specifically, their book, Love Defined!

4. Repent & Turn from Sin

Daily we must allow God to search our hearts and know them, pointing out any and all sin. We can daily pray Psalm 51:10: “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me.”

Purity isn’t merely setting up guards, trying on our own strength to be holy & refrain from sex. It’s daily letting God cleanse us from sin, crying out to Him, “make me holy, as You are holy.” True holiness comes from denying ourselves and our sin, asking God to cleanse us and give us strength to live righteously. Daily ask the Lord to search your heart and show you your sin, and then repent of it. Ask Him for strength to live victoriously over sin.

Purity isn’t a checklist. These tips aren’t meant to be something that you must legalistically cling to, and following them won’t necessarily keep you out of sin or tempting situations. However, as we daily strive to seek God first, establish boundaries, remember God’s perfect design for intimacy and sex, and repent and turn from sin, we will grow in God and in holiness! I’m going to leave you with this encouraging passage to inspire you to seek the Lord first, turning from sin to a path of holiness. We’re in this together, sister. ❤

Hebrews 12:1-2 // Therefore let us also, seeing we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising its shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Let’s chat!

When have you been tempted to compromise your purity?

Which of the 4 tips was most encouraging for you?

How will you start living in purity, today?

7 Books I Enjoyed in 2018

As 2018 began, I set a goal to read 5-7 good Christian books. I ended up reading 10 books (fiction and non-fiction), which surprised me! I was so blessed to be part of a few book teams and pre-read books for people, which allowed me to find new amazing books & read them for free. In 2018 I read some good books & wanted to share my favorites with you today! Let’s go…

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How to Set Goals & Accomplish Them This New Year

Resolutions. This time of year we always seem to be making them, and if we aren’t, we’re likely hearing about people making them.

Typically, a few months after new years, resolutions fall through. Goals such as “lose weight” “be happier” or “eat healthier” are soon forgotten & neglected when the new year’s hype is over.

The last few years, I have set goals for the new year. I was inspired by this amazing post by Girl Defined ministries. I keep the list in my Bible & try to look at it somewhat often, and set goals each month as well. To be honest, I don’t think I did as well this year as I could have, but I still reached goals and improved!

Throughout the year, there have been ups and downs, but I feel like I have, by God’s strength alone, been able to improve & make progress. I still have a ways to go, but I know that God has helped me reach some goals this year. One goal I had in mind was to be more self-controlled concerning my phone, and, although I’m not perfect at it, I have gotten better at it as I’ve been intentional to.

Setting goals or “resolutions” merely to do so isn’t going to get you anywhere. You will likely forget about them and not put them into practice. Goals + laziness = laziness. Goals + diligence + God’s strength = progress. That’s the key – being diligent & devoted, relying on God daily for strength! Sure, you might not be perfect at first, but it’s all about making progress! 😉

Check out these passages:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 // But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (emphasis added)

Proverbs 10:4 // He becomes poor who works with a lazy hand, but the hand of the diligent brings wealth. (emphasis added)

Romans 12:11 // not lagging in diligence; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;

I encourage you, as this year comes to a close & we look forward to a brand new year, think of some goals you hope to achieve in 2019, as well as things you need to work on personally. Then, think of ways you can reach those goals.

Consider your faults and where you continually fall short & fail.

Maybe you struggle with food addiction/overeating.

Maybe you struggle with laziness.

Maybe you struggle with phone addiction.

Maybe you struggle with a bad attitude.

We all have struggles. It’s what we do with them that matters. You have a choice: You can work daily, by God’s power alone & for His glory, to progress & become better, or setting goals & working towards them; or, you can be lazy and never get anywhere.

I encourage you to ask God to show you areas where you need to improve. If you like to have words of the year, ask Him to show you a specific word to focus on this year, and even find a verse that you want to have to focus on this year.

Take some time to think about the person you want to work towards becoming, the qualities & areas you need to improve on, and ways you want to grow this year. Write down a physical list, make it fancy & cute if you’d like! You can stick it in your Bible, hang it on your wall, or even make multiple copies to put around your house!

Goals are important, no matter what time of year it is; but the only way you’ll reach goals is by God’s power. Daily seek Him, making a point to be in His Word & in prayer daily, as much as is possible. That’s a goal we all should have as Christians! Intentionally seek Him, and you’ll find the power to become a more Godly person daily. The only way you can set goals this year & reach them is by God’s power, continually looking to Him, and choosing to be diligent & disciplined. I know you can do it, by His strength & for His glory!

I’d love to hear from you! What’re any goals you have for 2019? How will you reach them?

5 Tips for the Single Girl Longing for Love

Being a single girl can be tough. We see our friends getting boyfriends, getting engaged, then getting married, and even having kids! We then look at our own lives & see a purposeless season of life – singleness. 

We tend to have the wrong outlook on being single, seeing singleness as some sort of curse. However, this is not true in the least! If you’re a single girl like me, I want to share 5 important reminders with you.

1. Remember that Singleness is an AMAZING Thing!

Singleness is a season of life that God has given you!! It’s not a curse, it’s not something to dread. It’s a beautiful & wonderful thing. Being single gives you loads of extra time to be able to draw closer to the Lord and to love on others. 

I challenge you to evaluate how you’re looking at this season of life. Are you looking at singleness as something bad & longing for a different season? Or are you joyfully accepting & embracing this season? In this life, we tend to long for the next season – singles long for a relationship, people in a relationship long for marriage, married people long for kids, parents long for retirement, etc etc. Learning to be content & joyful is so important!

Philippians 4:11-13 // Not that I speak in respect to lack, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content in it. I know how to be humbled, and I know also how to abound. In everything and in all things I have learned the secret both to be filled and to be hungry, both to abound and to be in need. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

2. Grow Daily in Your Relationship with God

If you were single for the rest of your life, would you be content in God? 

Tough question, right? Despite how hard it might seem, we all need to learn to be content in God alone. For those of us who will one day marry some amazing guy, even once we’re married, we won’t be satisfied unless we have a flourishing & growing relationship with our precious God.

Get in the Word & in prayer each and every day, and focus on seeking God above all else. Set aside a specific time every day to spend time with Him and to grow. Surround yourself with His Truth! Put Bible verses all over your room/house, listen to Christian music, listen to Godly podcasts, and focus on growing in God. This is something that’s important for all girls, single and not.

Luke 10:27 // He answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”

Matthew 6:33 // But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well.

3. Live Life to the FULLEST!

Every season of life is from God, and we can live it to the FULLEST! I encourage you to find ways every day to get outside of yourself & to put others before yourself. God tells us to love Him with our all, and to love others as ourselves. How are you daily serving God & others?

Join a Bible study, help your mom out at home, find volunteer opportunities, & simply find ways to bless others with the talents God has given you. There are so many beautiful opportunities each & every day to serve God, look for them and take them! Singleness is a time when you have extra time to spend serving & giving, because you don’t have a husband/boyfriend or kids! Use this season to the FULLEST!

Ephesians 5:15-16 // Therefore watch carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise; redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

4. Surround Yourself with Godly Friends 

Friends are such a gift from God, and something we all need in our lives! Friends bring fun & happiness into our lives, but they can also be an encouragement & inspiration to us as we walk with God together. Invest in the friendships you have, and form strong and Godly friendships. If you don’t have any good, Godly, Christian friends, pray and ask the Lord to bring some into your life. He is always SO FAITHFUL TO PROVIDE!

Encourage your friends, send them Bible verses, lift them up, pray for each other. Surround yourself with girls & guys who are strong in God. 

Proverbs 27:9 // Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart; so does earnest counsel from a man’s friend.

5. Remember Who Your True Love Is & Surrender all to Him

Even if there’s not a guy by your side, there’s someone much better who is always with you. God never leaves your side. He’s always there to hear you cry out, and to speak truth to your heart. There’s never a day He’s not there. He has always been there, and will always be your First Love. 

Give God your entire life, and all your desires. Tell Him of your desire for love & marriage, and give Him everything. You’ll never regret surrendering all to Him, because He always orchestrates the most beautiful stories. Focus on falling more in love with Him daily, for He will always satisfy your soul. ❤ He loves you, friend!

Single girl, please don’t spend time comparing & feeling sorry for yourself. This season of singleness, whether it lasts a few months, years, or the rest of your life, is a blessing! Embrace it, seek God first, and serve Him to the fullest. You’ll never regret it!

https://www.girldefined.com/ (they have amazing posts on love & singleness!)

My post, To the Single People

Should Christians Celebrate Christmas?

Before I get into this, I want to say, I know that this is a very controversial message; I am in no way trying to bash anyone or force my convictions on you. 🙂 God has given me these convictions & view on Christmas according to His Word, & it’s something I’m passionate about and want to share! Above all, please study His Word deeply for yourself, and look into Christmas’ origins. 

Around 3 years ago, I remember being seated around the dinner table with my siblings and my mom. My mom started talking about the pagan origins of Christmas, and I was shocked. I honestly could never view Christmas in the same light after that. 

I celebrated Christmas in the next two years to come, but it wasn’t quite the same. As of last year, I decided to not celebrate anymore. I know, it’s crazy, and it truly is radical, haha! I truly felt God doesn’t want me to take part in this holiday.

Christmas, which is now seen as a “Christian” holiday to worship Jesus Christ, started out pagan. Check out these quotes:

“Roman pagans first introduced the holiday of Saturnalia, a week long period of lawlessness celebrated between December 17-25. During this period, Roman courts were closed, and Roman law dictated that no one could be punished for damaging property or injuring people during the weeklong celebration. The festival began when Roman authorities chose “an enemy of the Roman people” to represent the “Lord of Misrule.” Each Roman community selected a victim whom they forced to indulge in food and other physical pleasures throughout the week. At the festival’s conclusion, December 25th, Roman authorities believed they were destroying the forces of darkness by brutally murdering this innocent man or woman.” // source: http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Christmas_TheRealStory.htm

“In the fourth century, church officials decided to institute the birth of Jesus as a holiday. Unfortunately, the Bible does not mention date for his birth (a fact Puritans later pointed out in order to deny the legitimacy of the celebration). Although some evidence suggests that his birth may have occurred in the spring (why would shepherds be herding in the middle of winter?), Pope Julius I chose December 25. It is commonly believed that the church chose this date in an effort to adopt and absorb the traditions of the pagan Saturnalia festival.” // source: https://www.history.com/topics/christmas/history-of-christmas (emphasis mine)

As I said in my post, Why I’m Not Celebrating Christmas: “Christmas started as a day for the sun god Saturn, and they sacrificed humans, including small children. Nakedness was normal, and people gave gifts, and hung presents on the tree as a sacrifice.”

Christians have taken a pagan holiday & made it Christian. You might be thinking, “if we celebrate it to honor Christ, who cares about the origins?” That’s what I thought, too, but I just couldn’t shake what God’s Word says about how it is wrong to use pagan things to worship Him. Check out these passages:

Deuteronomy 12:29-30: When Yahweh your God cuts off the nations from before you, where you go in to dispossess them, and you dispossess them, and dwell in their land; be careful that you are not ensnared to follow them, after that they are destroyed from before you; and that you not inquire after their gods, saying, “How do these nations serve their gods? I will do likewise.” (emphasis mine)

Mark 7:8-9: “For you set aside the commandment of God, and hold tightly to the tradition of men—the washing of pitchers and cups, and you do many other such things.”  He said to them, “Full well do you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your tradition. (emphasis mine)

Christmas is a man-made tradition, not one that God gave us in His Word. YES, the  birth of Christ is absolutely amazing & wonderful! However, God never gave this to us as a holiday; we took it from the pagans and made it a “Christian” holiday. This passage from Jeremiah is really interesting:

Jeremiah 10:1-5: Hear the word which Yahweh speaks to you, house of Israel! Yahweh [God] says, “Don’t learn the way of the nations, and don’t be dismayed at the signs of the sky; for the nations are dismayed at them.  For the customs of the peoples are vanity; for one cuts a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman with the ax. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it not move. They are like a palm tree, of turned work, and don’t speak: they must be carried, because they can’t go. Don’t be afraid of them; for they can’t do evil, neither is it in them to do good.” (emphasis mine)

This passage tells us that God tells us not to learn the ways of the nations, and to follow the customs of this world. It even talks about the custom of men cutting down trees and decking them with silver and gold, which sounds a lot like what we do at Christmas.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a holiday made by men to celebrate something good & uplifting – Thanksgiving or Fourth of July for example. But when a holiday has origins that are pagan and unbiblical, we need to start thinking about what these holidays are all about, and if they truly honor God.

Christmas was created by men to honor gods. Christians then took it and made it to honor God. Nothing in this day is *truly* Biblical. We tend to get blinded because of all this world feeds our minds. This time of year, everything around us is all about Christmas. Above all, I want to challenge you. Open your eyes. See Christmas for what it truly is. We might think that we can celebrate with the “right heart” but God’s Word makes it clear – taking pagan things to worship Him is simply wrong. Furthermore, Jeremiah 17:9 says our heart is deceitful & no one can know it.

I know it’s radical, it’s crazy, and it’s certainly not popular, but I don’t celebrate Christmas. I pray that you will pray, search out Scripture, and research the pagan origins of Christmas. Don’t simply go with what everyone else does. Romans 12:2 tells us to not conform to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. God’s Word makes it clear – we aren’t to take pagan things & worship Him with them. Christ’s birth is truly wonderful, and something we should celebrate every day! However, Christmas is a man-made tradition that took what is pagan and attempted to Christianize it. It’s sad how many think this is right, when God’s Word tells us it is wrong. I pray you will search out God’s Word and look deeper into Christmas. It’s not what we think it is. ❤

We have no superstitious regard for times and seasons. Certainly we do not believe in the present ecclesiastical arrangement called Christmas: first, because we do not believe in the mass at all, but abhor it, whether it be said or sung in Latin or in English; and, secondly, because we find no Scriptural warrant whatever for observing any day as the birthday of the Savior; and, consequently, its observance is a superstition, because not of divine authority. (Charles Spurgeon, Sermon on Dec. 24, 1871).

When it can be proved that the observance of Christmas, Whitsuntide, and other Popish festivals was ever instituted by a divine statute, we also will attend to them, but not till then. It is as much our duty to reject the traditions of men, as to observe the ordinances of the Lord. We ask concerning every rite and rubric, “Is this a law of the God of Jacob?” and if it be not clearly so, it is of no authority with us, who walk in Christian liberty. (from Charles Spurgeon’s Treasury of David on Psalm 81:4.) source for these quotes: http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/SPURGEON-QUOTES.htm (emphasis mine)

Why I’m Not Celebrating Christmas

An awesome video about this topic by Rise on Fire ministries!

Why I’ve Never Been on a Date

Hi, I’m Caitlyn, I’m in my upper teen years, and I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never even been asked on one!

Many people will think you’re crazy if you’ve never been on a date by your late teen years, & young adult years. For the world, it’s normal for teens/young adults to have multiple significant others throughout the years. But, is it healthy? Does dating around honor God?

I have never been on a date, and there are multiple reasons for that:

I have never been on a date for a few reasons:

  • I am not yet ready for marriage
  • I haven’t been asked on a date
  • I haven’t met any guys who I feel God would call me to spend the rest of my life with starting now
  • My parents taught me not to date around like the world does

I’m a firm believer in purposeful dating. I don’t believe that we should merely “date around” for the purpose of dating someone. When we enter a dating relationship, it should be with the purpose of marriage in mind. We should be dating someone asking the question, “Would I marry this person?” A good & God-honoring dating relationship doesn’t start just because you think someone is attractive and good-looking. It starts when you both realize that God wants you to enter a relationship with each other, and your motives are to honor Him, not gratify your selfish desires.

Before I go on, I want to let you know that wherever you are, whatever you’ve done, God forgives and you can start walking with Him. If you’ve messed up in any way, even in terms of love & romance, you can start over, friend. Come to Him & He will make you new & help you to see dating & romance in a brand-new, Biblical, wonderful way. You can move on. He can forgive you. You can walk in His Truth & it is a beautiful thing! You’re never too far gone.

Dating is a controversial topic, and all relationships look different. Because of what I’ve learned from God’s Word and good books on love & romance, I only want to date when I am ready for marriage, the other person is ready for marriage, our parents have “okayed” the relationship, and we both feel that God is calling us to date one another.

Read these awesome passages:

Colossians 3:17 // Whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father, through him.

Proverbs 11:14 // Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is victory.

When entering into a dating relationship, I want to make sure my parents have met the guy & are ok with the relationship. I hope to know the guy fairly well & trust that he is serving God wholeheartedly and we have similar worldviews according to God’s Word. Above all, I want the relationship to be wholly built on God & honoring to Him.

A dating relationship should be entered into with the purpose of honoring God. When you enter into a relationship with selfish motives, things will go downhill. When a guy & girl hope to have their needs met & their reputations made better by a relationship with each other, they have the wrong motives. I hope to one day, if/when the Lord brings the right man into my life, be able to enter a relationship to serve each other & find out if we should marry one another. 

I encourage you, if you are single like me, keep praying & trusting in God. Spend this season learning to be fully content in God ALONE. Some of us may be called to singleness not just for a season, but for our whole lives, or for an extended time. Ask yourself, would I be content if I was single my whole life? 

Seeking and serving God is the point of this life, not having a spouse. Although marriage is a wonderful & beautiful gift God has given us, it’s not what we live for. God is the One who fulfills our hearts’ desires and needs, and only He satisfies. No guy can ever fill the hole in your heart that God was made to fill.

I’ve never been on a date. Why? Because God hasn’t called me to date yet, and I’m not ready for it yet. I am waiting for the right time & the right person, & I know God will provide. Love is a wonderful, beautiful, and AMAZING thing that I look forward to! But I’m striving to focus on being content in God alone, and I pray you will too, in every season of life. ❤